Feelings

Feelings are hard to deal with sometimes. Not many days go by, especially now, that I don't think about how I felt after I gave birth to Ryan. After I had to leave the hospital without my newborn baby. Life had to go on though. There were groceries to get & laundry to do in between visits to the hospital. I will never forget the first trip to the grocery store one night after being with Ryan. Dean and I were in the deli line and who was in front of us? A baby. A Mommy & Daddy with their baby. Playing hide & seek and loving on their baby. I tried not to pay attention but it didn't work. I eventually started tearing up and had to walk away. When I went back to work, Ryan was still in the hospital. He was doing well and was expected to come home soon. My short term disability had run out and I wanted to save my leave time for when he came home so I went back to work. Just walking into someplace other than the hospital felt almost foreign to me. It was good to get out into a different setting but it was hard. Hard to deal with my feelings. I wanted to be with Ryan or just alone in general. So as I go through day to day life now, I try to keep people's feelings in mind. When I'm in a store, walking through the mall or at the doctor's office if someone is rude, looks sad or doesn't talk maybe it's because they are going through a hard time. Sometimes having a sign would be easier I think. This blog post really touched me so I'd thought I would share:

Seeing Past What it Seems